Behind all this performing thing that has been going on my whole life, I still have the same problem. Haunting me, taunting me. I’m not trying to be emotional about it but, it has been bothering me ever since. So, I just want to share what I’ve been through because who knows, there might be someone out there, facing the same problem as I do.
Everything was perfect during practice, I did it with no mistakes. I was confident, I can finally do this! But no, reality really slaps the hell out of my face. I always make mistakes. All the time, all performances, I screw everything up. And I hated it. What more am I lack of? Confidence? Accuracy? I’m not sure. All that I know is, my mind blanks out at the entire time of my performance.
So, Pro’sa Mania 2019, I screwed up as well. I want to explain about what I’ve been through, why I made mistakes, but I just feel like it will sounds like I created reasons just to cover up my wrong doings. On this entry, please give me the chance to explain myself.
First day of the show, I pretty much did quite a good job for the chime part during Tambar’s scene. Except the fact that I zoned out a bit during the Voice Over of Siwa and Sintal.
BUT, ON THE SECOND DAY OF THE SHOW!
I screw up so bad, I want to bury myself alive. I played wrong note, wrong timing, everything is wrong. I’m an absolute mess! Okay but first, I don’t remember my queues, so Ciklah (our SM) wrote me all the cues. It was all fine, untill my book light fell off. My cues are all in darkness, as dark as my soul. I was shaken but it’s okay, I can do this. BUT I CAN’T. I’m a very forgetful person and I often blanks out. Plus, I’m quite down since no one even care to watch me perform while everyone else is with their family and friends.
Nevertheless, people laughed at my mistakes, so, I guess, okay then. It became a memory for me.
Hayao Miyazaki, one of the reputable name in the animation and film industry. Who is he and what makes me choose him as a successful entrepreneur? Hayao Miyazaki is a successful animator, director and producer. He was born on January 5th 1941, in Tokyo, Japan. Miyazakiâs father, Katsuji Miyazaki, run a family business Miyazaki Airplanes, a factory that manufactured war aircraftâs part. Miyazaki started his early studies at an elementary school in Utsonomiya City. Ever since he was young, he has shown an interest in Manga, a Japanese-style comic. He even dreamt to be a mangaka or comic artist. As he grew older, he began pursuing his higher education at Gakushuin University in Tokyo and earned himself bachelorâs degree in Economics and Political Science in 1963. However, his passion is more to arts and anime styled arts. Thus explains why he joined the universityâs club, children’s literature club.
In April 1963, he joined a huge Japanese
animation company, Toei Animation Pvt Ltd in conjunction to pursuing his dream
as an animator. His first career was not easy. He worked at the lowest tier in
the animation industry, which is to fill in the cell-by-cell movements of
characters and objects. In 1968, he gets to work on an animated project âHols:
Prince of the Sunâ as chief animator and scene designer. In 1971, he left Toei
Animation and joined an animation company called âA Proâ. This year was the
downfall of his career. The animated project, âPippi Longstockingsâ was a
failure. Later in June 1973, he moved to Zuiyo Pictures and became the
background-scene artist for âHeidi: Girl of the Alpsâ. The rise of his career
started on 1979, when he co-directed âLupin the 3rd: The Castle of
Cagliostroâ. In 1984, âNausicaĂ€ of the Valley of the Windâ was released and it hits the box office. Due to this
success, Hayao Miyazaki created Studio Ghibli, along with Isao Takahata, Toshio
Suzuki and Yasuyoshi Tokuma. Since the creation of Studio Ghibli on 15 June
1985, the art style in Japanese animation industry drastically changed. This
proves that Miyazakiâs innovation brings influence to other animators and
illustrators as well.
Throughout Hayao Miyazakiâs life, he has
received an enormous amount of rewards and achievements. Based on Internet
Movie Data Base (IMDb), total awards received by Hayao Miyazaki under Studio
Ghibli label are 120 wins and 177 nominations. Some of his remarkable works in
the animation industry was:
Spirited Away
(2001 in Japan, 2003 in USA)
Won:
1 oscar, 56 wins and 27 nominations.
Cumulative Worldwide Gross: $274,925,095
2. Howlâs Moving Castle (2004 in Japan, 2005 in USA)
Won:
Nominated 1 oscar, 14 wins and 19 nominations
Cumulative Worldwide Gross: $235,184,110
3.Princess Mononoke (1997)
Won:
13 wins and 6 nominations
Cumulative
Worldwide Gross: $159,375,308
(Based on IMDbâs data as of May 2019)
Besides making films and animation, Miyazaki also opened a museum designed by himself, The Ghibli Museum in Mitaka, Japan.
Behind all of Hayao Miyazakiâs
success, there lies the downfalls. In order to reach the success that he gained
today, he had to go through all the hardships. Starts at the bottom, he learnt
the very basic of animation for a few years. After a few years comfortable in a
big company, Toei Animation, he took the risk to move to another animation
company. Unfortunately, his companyâs animation project failed. Then, he moved
to another animation firm, Zuiyo Picture. From there, his career got bigger and
better. He saw the opportunity lies in front of him if he open up his own
animation firm, thus, the creation of Studio Ghibli. One controversy that has
sparked in Miyazakiâs film was The Wind Rises (2013), his âlastâ feature film
before he announces his retirement. The main character in The Wind Rises were
inspired by a historical figure in Japanese history, Jiro Horikoshi, chief
engineer at Mitsubishi Internal Combustion Engine Company Limited or to be
precise, the designer of Japanâs World War II, Mitsubishi A6M Zero Fighter
Plane. These created an uproar among the internet users as well as politicians
as Miyazaki uses Horikoshi as a protagonist, whose planes were used in attack
on Pearl Harbor. However, Miyazaki responded that this film was solely made for
his admiration for Jiro Horikoshi, as someone who works in aeronautical
engineering. After all, Miyazaki is known for his pacifist and environmentalist
traits based on his previous films. According to Mainichi Shimbun, Japanâs
major newspaper, Miyazaki said âHe (Horikoshi) was someone who resisted demands
from the militaryâ. Miyazaki also being criticised as this film feature a lot
of his characters smoking, which is not suitable for children. While it was
historically true, Miyazaki announced earlier that this film targeted an adult
viewer.
Hayao Miyazaki proves that through
arts, entrepreneurship still can be done. Arts, if itâs done and delivered in
the right way, we can sell the products and services. Hayao Miyazaki and Studio
Ghibli plays an important role in Japanâs economy. It does not affect only in
the art industry, Miyazaki also introduces the Japanese culture throughout the
world with his magnificent artworks and films.
In my opinion, to become a
successful entrepreneur, one must take the risk. Failure is a sign that we need
to fix things that we are flawed. Through that, we know what is wrong and what
is right. In addition to that, we need to grab the opportunity and take the
risk. Opportunity does not come twice. For instance, if Miyazaki does not take
the risk of being independent and established Studio Ghibli, will he be as
successful as he is today? I doubt that he will be renown throughout the world.
In other words, opportunity does not wait for us, we wait for the chance to
grab the opportunity lies ahead.
Furthermore, an art entrepreneur
should be smart in selling their artworks. Always dream big and target that
your artworks will be sold internationally. Malaysian artist, specifically, try
to reach a bigger audience, not just local audience but international audience.
Enlarge your scope vision and plan your business strategically. For example, Walt
Disney offered Studio Ghibli to distribute the Ghibliâs film in the U.S market.
Knowing that it will consume a large sum of money at first, Miyazaki as the CEO
still take the risk and join partnership with Disney. Later, lots of Studio
Ghibliâs movie reached a bigger audience and thus hits the box office.
Throughout my whole life, I’ve been exposed to music. I was forced to take music. Eventually, I ended up liking music, which paved the reason why I want to pursue degree in music at ASWARA. I dream to be a pianist as great as Joe Hisaishi and Chopin, heck, my playlist are full of their songs and compositions. But lately, I began to question myself.
I like to draw as well, so why would I neglect other things that I like and focus merely on music for the rest of my life? I like to draw figures and animating stuffs, but I really don’t have any experience about it at all. I actually learnt everything about animation only on semester 3, approx. 4 months. I also want to be as great as Hayao Miyazaki! I even wrote a whole essay about Miyazaki because I really look up to him and his works.
So, what is my decision?
Animation for degree! Won’t it be cool if I have the ability to create my own story with my own music?
Anyways, click this link to see me playing a snippet of Meteor by John feat. Hatsune Miku.
On 4th of July, my class held a mini game. It started quite mysterious and exciting. He just asked us to grab a pencil and a paper and draw 10 boxes. The larger the boxes drawn, the better. At that time, I was thinking ‘Is it bingo? Is it charade?’ And my latter thought nailed it. Kinda, I guess.
The one thing that I like about the starting of the game was how quiet and tension the air was. It shows how determined human’s nature to get everything correct. Even Sir himself find it interesting. Were you, Sir?
So, to show you what I did, this is it. My roller coaster is disastrous. My Doraemon, my Minion…
So, after all this chaotic thing going on, I guess we should agree that to be a designer, animator, illustrator that requires us to actually design and draw things, it is not easy. Even I admit that I take about an hour to animate a jumping rubber ball! It applies the same in our daily life. Everyone needs time to finish their job so that the end products will be high in quality. Which is why I do agree that everyone needs the right to procrastinate, but no one should over-procrastinate themselves.
As obvious as the title says, Iâm going to share about
my sad yet questionably-funny story.
As I mentioned on my previous post, I donât have any mallet except that wood mallet that I found randomly in one of the Orchestra Hallâs (OH) locker (which I assume, mallets for drums. So, when we started the bump in process, I canât find that particular mallet in the OH locker. Then, I try to find something that can act as a temporary mallet, which happen to be a PVC pipe. However, it sounded horrendous! Suddenly, my brain light up a bulb. It all started with a pun, âvibraphone and a phoneâ. Little did I know that my phone creates a beautiful sound as a mallet! However, I canât bear to risk the health of my phone and I canât be using a phone throughout the performance.
So, our stage manager (SM), Ciklah (Abdullah Azahani Hafiz) give me this:
This mallet sounds a bit âsteelâ but after a little
bit of adjustment with gaffer tape, it sounded even better (but still cannot
beat the sound of my phone produced!). Thank you, Ciklah!
My mallet tale does not end here! I also got a help from Music SM, Nagulan. He made a DIY mallet which sounds a bit softer.
It sounded nice but it is too echoing. I need to keep on stomping on and off the sustain pedal which is very tiring, honestly. But it sounded great for curtain callâs overture song. Also, Iâve adjusted the other side of the mallet as well. Yes, gaffer tape it all again!
To conclude, I feel extremely grateful that people are trying to help me. Even though I have zero experience in playing vibraphone, I donât know which mallet to use, there are people who is willing to help me. Thank you!
Throughout my life, music indeed own a special place inside me. In my head, I dream myself as a pianist. Little did I know that Pro’Sa Mania gives me a little bit of spice and somehow I ended up being a percussionist instead. It is a bit out of topic but while scrolling through my rants over here, I have a little riddle for you,
Why did a picture go to jail?
Keep reading till the bottom for answer!
Rewind back, it all started on 16th May 2019. I took the interview for Pro’Sa Mania musician as pianist. Unfortunately, I didn’t get the position as pianist. But it is alright! There’s still future up ahead! However, life as a percussionist is not that bad. It is just a different instruments anyway. Hold on, you might be thinking I’m playing drum or something. Actually…
I play the vibraphone and marimba/xylophone! Interesting out of 10. As a definite pitch percussionist, at least I let my eyes rest by reading only the treble clef. Unlike piano, I need to read the bass clef as well. Anyways, it was a fun experience.