I’m an Absolute Mess

Cr, Dinie

Behind all this performing thing that has been going on my whole life, I still have the same problem. Haunting me, taunting me. I’m not trying to be emotional about it but, it has been bothering me ever since. So, I just want to share what I’ve been through because who knows, there might be someone out there, facing the same problem as I do.

Everything was perfect during practice, I did it with no mistakes. I was confident, I can finally do this! But no, reality really slaps the hell out of my face. I always make mistakes. All the time, all performances, I screw everything up. And I hated it. What more am I lack of? Confidence? Accuracy? I’m not sure. All that I know is, my mind blanks out at the entire time of my performance.

So, Pro’sa Mania 2019, I screwed up as well. I want to explain about what I’ve been through, why I made mistakes, but I just feel like it will sounds like I created reasons just to cover up my wrong doings. On this entry, please give me the chance to explain myself.

First day of the show, I pretty much did quite a good job for the chime part during Tambar’s scene. Except the fact that I zoned out a bit during the Voice Over of Siwa and Sintal.

BUT, ON THE SECOND DAY OF THE SHOW!

I screw up so bad, I want to bury myself alive. I played wrong note, wrong timing, everything is wrong. I’m an absolute mess! Okay but first, I don’t remember my queues, so Ciklah (our SM) wrote me all the cues. It was all fine, untill my book light fell off. My cues are all in darkness, as dark as my soul. I was shaken but it’s okay, I can do this. BUT I CAN’T. I’m a very forgetful person and I often blanks out. Plus, I’m quite down since no one even care to watch me perform while everyone else is with their family and friends.

Nevertheless, people laughed at my mistakes, so, I guess, okay then. It became a memory for me.

That is it. This will probably be my last blog.

Miyazaki and My Thoughts About Him

Image result for hayao miyazaki
Credits : Jun Sato, Getty Image

Hayao Miyazaki, one of the reputable name in the animation and film industry. Who is he and what makes me choose him as a successful entrepreneur? Hayao Miyazaki is a successful animator, director and producer. He was born on January 5th 1941, in Tokyo, Japan. Miyazaki’s father, Katsuji Miyazaki, run a family business Miyazaki Airplanes, a factory that manufactured war aircraft’s part. Miyazaki started his early studies at an elementary school in Utsonomiya City. Ever since he was young, he has shown an interest in Manga, a Japanese-style comic. He even dreamt to be a mangaka or comic artist. As he grew older, he began pursuing his higher education at Gakushuin University in Tokyo and earned himself bachelor’s degree in Economics and Political Science in 1963. However, his passion is more to arts and anime styled arts. Thus explains why he joined the university’s club, children’s literature club.

In April 1963, he joined a huge Japanese animation company, Toei Animation Pvt Ltd in conjunction to pursuing his dream as an animator. His first career was not easy. He worked at the lowest tier in the animation industry, which is to fill in the cell-by-cell movements of characters and objects. In 1968, he gets to work on an animated project ‘Hols: Prince of the Sun’ as chief animator and scene designer. In 1971, he left Toei Animation and joined an animation company called ‘A Pro’. This year was the downfall of his career. The animated project, ‘Pippi Longstockings’ was a failure. Later in June 1973, he moved to Zuiyo Pictures and became the background-scene artist for ‘Heidi: Girl of the Alps’. The rise of his career started on 1979, when he co-directed ‘Lupin the 3rd: The Castle of Cagliostro’. In 1984, ‘NausicaĂ€ of the Valley of the Wind’ was released and it hits the box office. Due to this success, Hayao Miyazaki created Studio Ghibli, along with Isao Takahata, Toshio Suzuki and Yasuyoshi Tokuma. Since the creation of Studio Ghibli on 15 June 1985, the art style in Japanese animation industry drastically changed. This proves that Miyazaki’s innovation brings influence to other animators and illustrators as well.

Throughout Hayao Miyazaki’s life, he has received an enormous amount of rewards and achievements. Based on Internet Movie Data Base (IMDb), total awards received by Hayao Miyazaki under Studio Ghibli label are 120 wins and 177 nominations. Some of his remarkable works in the animation industry was:

  1. Spirited Away (2001 in Japan, 2003 in USA)
Image result for spirited away official poster

Won: 1 oscar, 56 wins and 27 nominations.

Cumulative Worldwide Gross: $274,925,095

2. Howl’s Moving Castle (2004 in Japan, 2005 in USA)

Image result for howl's moving castle official poster

Won: Nominated 1 oscar, 14 wins and 19 nominations

Cumulative Worldwide Gross: $235,184,110

3.Princess Mononoke (1997)

Image result for princess mononoke official poster

Won: 13 wins and 6 nominations

Cumulative Worldwide Gross: $159,375,308    

(Based on IMDb’s data as of May 2019)

Besides making films and animation, Miyazaki also opened a museum designed by himself, The Ghibli Museum in Mitaka, Japan.

ghibli museum mitaka
Photo by Kaige

The museum exhibits all the artworks from Studio Ghibli. It also showcases exclusive short film released only on the museum’s theatre. The Museum also sells merchandise of Miyazaki’s film, ‘Straw Hat Café’ a Ghibli-themed cafĂ© where it serves foods and beverage from Miyazaki’s film and the ‘Tri Hawks’, a reading room and a bookstore which filled with books recommended by Miyazaki himself. To conclude, Hayao Miyazaki’s estimated net worth is $60 million (The Wealth Record, Jan 21 2019).

            Behind all of Hayao Miyazaki’s success, there lies the downfalls. In order to reach the success that he gained today, he had to go through all the hardships. Starts at the bottom, he learnt the very basic of animation for a few years. After a few years comfortable in a big company, Toei Animation, he took the risk to move to another animation company. Unfortunately, his company’s animation project failed. Then, he moved to another animation firm, Zuiyo Picture. From there, his career got bigger and better. He saw the opportunity lies in front of him if he open up his own animation firm, thus, the creation of Studio Ghibli. One controversy that has sparked in Miyazaki’s film was The Wind Rises (2013), his ‘last’ feature film before he announces his retirement. The main character in The Wind Rises were inspired by a historical figure in Japanese history, Jiro Horikoshi, chief engineer at Mitsubishi Internal Combustion Engine Company Limited or to be precise, the designer of Japan’s World War II, Mitsubishi A6M Zero Fighter Plane. These created an uproar among the internet users as well as politicians as Miyazaki uses Horikoshi as a protagonist, whose planes were used in attack on Pearl Harbor. However, Miyazaki responded that this film was solely made for his admiration for Jiro Horikoshi, as someone who works in aeronautical engineering. After all, Miyazaki is known for his pacifist and environmentalist traits based on his previous films. According to Mainichi Shimbun, Japan’s major newspaper, Miyazaki said “He (Horikoshi) was someone who resisted demands from the military”. Miyazaki also being criticised as this film feature a lot of his characters smoking, which is not suitable for children. While it was historically true, Miyazaki announced earlier that this film targeted an adult viewer.

            Hayao Miyazaki proves that through arts, entrepreneurship still can be done. Arts, if it’s done and delivered in the right way, we can sell the products and services. Hayao Miyazaki and Studio Ghibli plays an important role in Japan’s economy. It does not affect only in the art industry, Miyazaki also introduces the Japanese culture throughout the world with his magnificent artworks and films.

            In my opinion, to become a successful entrepreneur, one must take the risk. Failure is a sign that we need to fix things that we are flawed. Through that, we know what is wrong and what is right. In addition to that, we need to grab the opportunity and take the risk. Opportunity does not come twice. For instance, if Miyazaki does not take the risk of being independent and established Studio Ghibli, will he be as successful as he is today? I doubt that he will be renown throughout the world. In other words, opportunity does not wait for us, we wait for the chance to grab the opportunity lies ahead.

            Furthermore, an art entrepreneur should be smart in selling their artworks. Always dream big and target that your artworks will be sold internationally. Malaysian artist, specifically, try to reach a bigger audience, not just local audience but international audience. Enlarge your scope vision and plan your business strategically. For example, Walt Disney offered Studio Ghibli to distribute the Ghibli’s film in the U.S market. Knowing that it will consume a large sum of money at first, Miyazaki as the CEO still take the risk and join partnership with Disney. Later, lots of Studio Ghibli’s movie reached a bigger audience and thus hits the box office.

Lil Bit of Me

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Cr. Dinie

Nyot, nyot!

Throughout my whole life, I’ve been exposed to music. I was forced to take music. Eventually, I ended up liking music, which paved the reason why I want to pursue degree in music at ASWARA. I dream to be a pianist as great as Joe Hisaishi and Chopin, heck, my playlist are full of their songs and compositions. But lately, I began to question myself.

I like to draw as well, so why would I neglect other things that I like and focus merely on music for the rest of my life? I like to draw figures and animating stuffs, but I really don’t have any experience about it at all. I actually learnt everything about animation only on semester 3, approx. 4 months. I also want to be as great as Hayao Miyazaki! I even wrote a whole essay about Miyazaki because I really look up to him and his works.

So, what is my decision?

Animation for degree! Won’t it be cool if I have the ability to create my own story with my own music?

Anyways, click this link to see me playing a snippet of Meteor by John feat. Hatsune Miku.

How Well Can I Draw in 5 Second?

On 4th of July, my class held a mini game. It started quite mysterious and exciting. He just asked us to grab a pencil and a paper and draw 10 boxes. The larger the boxes drawn, the better. At that time, I was thinking ‘Is it bingo? Is it charade?’ And my latter thought nailed it. Kinda, I guess.

The one thing that I like about the starting of the game was how quiet and tension the air was. It shows how determined human’s nature to get everything correct. Even Sir himself find it interesting. Were you, Sir?

So, to show you what I did, this is it. My roller coaster is disastrous. My Doraemon, my Minion…

i’M DECEASED

So, after all this chaotic thing going on, I guess we should agree that to be a designer, animator, illustrator that requires us to actually design and draw things, it is not easy. Even I admit that I take about an hour to animate a jumping rubber ball! It applies the same in our daily life. Everyone needs time to finish their job so that the end products will be high in quality. Which is why I do agree that everyone needs the right to procrastinate, but no one should over-procrastinate themselves.

I Play the Vibraphone, With My Phone đŸ“±

As obvious as the title says, I’m going to share about my sad yet questionably-funny story.

As I mentioned on my previous post, I don’t have any mallet except that wood mallet that I found randomly in one of the Orchestra Hall’s (OH) locker (which I assume, mallets for drums. So, when we started the bump in process, I can’t find that particular mallet in the OH locker. Then, I try to find something that can act as a temporary mallet, which happen to be a PVC pipe. However, it sounded horrendous! Suddenly, my brain light up a bulb. It all started with a pun, “vibraphone and a phone”. Little did I know that my phone creates a beautiful sound as a mallet! However, I can’t bear to risk the health of my phone and I can’t be using a phone throughout the performance.

            So, our stage manager (SM), Ciklah (Abdullah Azahani Hafiz) give me this:

Lowkey looking like 'santau' thingy
Lowkey looking like ‘santau’ thingy

This mallet sounds a bit ‘steel’ but after a little bit of adjustment with gaffer tape, it sounded even better (but still cannot beat the sound of my phone produced!). Thank you, Ciklah!

My mallet tale does not end here! I also got a help from Music SM, Nagulan. He made a DIY mallet which sounds a bit softer.

Cr. Nagulan

It sounded nice but it is too echoing. I need to keep on stomping on and off the sustain pedal which is very tiring, honestly. But it sounded great for curtain call’s overture song. Also, I’ve adjusted the other side of the mallet as well. Yes, gaffer tape it all again!

To conclude, I feel extremely grateful that people are trying to help me. Even though I have zero experience in playing vibraphone, I don’t know which mallet to use, there are people who is willing to help me. Thank you!

Pianist? Nah, Percussionist!

Illustration by Ain Syakilah & Sulaiman
Photographed by Yazid Rosalan

Throughout my life, music indeed own a special place inside me. In my head, I dream myself as a pianist. Little did I know that Pro’Sa Mania gives me a little bit of spice and somehow I ended up being a percussionist instead. It is a bit out of topic but while scrolling through my rants over here, I have a little riddle for you,

Why did a picture go to jail?

Keep reading till the bottom for answer!

Rewind back, it all started on 16th May 2019. I took the interview for Pro’Sa Mania musician as pianist. Unfortunately, I didn’t get the position as pianist. But it is alright! There’s still future up ahead! However, life as a percussionist is not that bad. It is just a different instruments anyway. Hold on, you might be thinking I’m playing drum or something. Actually…

Ignore the mallet. I can’t find my mallet at that time

I play the vibraphone and marimba/xylophone! Interesting out of 10. As a definite pitch percussionist, at least I let my eyes rest by reading only the treble clef. Unlike piano, I need to read the bass clef as well. Anyways, it was a fun experience.

Why did a picture go to jail?

Because it was framed!